This here fantasy football, it’s a big deal now, you know? My grandson, he’s always going on about it. Says I should be the “commissioner” of fantasy football. What a fancy word for the boss, right? He said I’m a great fantasy football commissioner, cause I keep things in line. I tell you, if you wanna run one of these things, you gotta be tough. Like a… like a rooster in a henhouse, that’s what I say.
First thing’s first, you gotta get your people. Like herding cats, I tell ya. You need ’bout, oh, 8 to 12 folks. Maybe more if you’re feeling brave. These are your, what’s it called… “team owners”. Yep, that’s it. Each one’s gonna have their own little team. All these owners are the key to your success as a fantasy football commissioner.
Then you need one of them fantasy football websites. My grandson, he set me up on one. Says it makes everything easier. I don’t know ’bout that, seems complicated to me. But it’s where you keep all the… the scores and stuff. Important stuff, I guess.
Now, these teams, they ain’t just names. They gotta have players. Real football players, you know, from the TV. Each team gets 16 spots, my grandson says. Nine of ’em are the ones playin’, the “starters”, he calls ’em. Gotta have a quarterback, that’s the one throws the ball. Two runnin’ backs, they run with it. Two wide receivers, they catch it. One tight end, I don’t know what he does, but he’s important. Then a “flex”, which is like a spare tire, I reckon. Could be a receiver, a runner, or one of them tight ends. Then a kicker, he kicks the ball through them yellow posts. And finally, a defense, they try to stop the other team from scorin’. These are so important for being a good fantasy football commissioner.
Now, you gotta set some rules. This is the most important part of being a fantasy football commissioner! This is where you gotta be tough, like that rooster I was tellin’ ya ’bout. Gotta be clear, like a summer sky after a good rain. No funny business. Everyone needs to know what’s what. This is where I used to struggle, but now I’m a pro at being a fantasy football commissioner.
- How many points for a touchdown?
- How many points for catchin’ the ball?
- What happens if someone gets hurt?
All that stuff. You gotta write it all down. My grandson, he typed it all up for me. Made it look real official. You have to make sure everyone agrees on the rules. No use starting if everyone will just argue later. You need to do this to be a good fantasy football commissioner.
Every week, these teams go up against each other. Like a… like a pie-eatin’ contest, but with football players. The team with the most points, they win that week. It’s all ’bout them points. Touchdowns are big, of course. But catchin’ the ball, runnin’ with it, even kickin’ it through them yellow posts, that all gets you points. Those points will make you a great fantasy football commissioner, trust me.
Being a commissioner, it ain’t just about watchin’ football. It’s like… like being a mama hen, keepin’ everyone in line. You gotta make sure everyone’s playin’ fair. No cheatin’! And you gotta make sure everyone’s havin’ fun. ‘Cause what’s the point if it ain’t fun, right?
My grandson, he says I’m good at it. Says I keep everyone in line, just like I did with my own kids. I don’t know ’bout all that. But I do like bein’ the boss. And I do like seein’ everyone get all excited ’bout their teams. It’s kinda like watchin’ a good soap opera, but with more sweat.
So, if you’re thinkin’ ’bout being a commissioner, I say go for it. It’s a lot of work, but it’s worth it. Just remember what I said: be tough, be fair, and make sure everyone knows the rules. And don’t forget to have fun. That’s the most important part, right there. Just be a good fantasy football commissioner, and you’ll be fine. It ain’t rocket science. It’s just football. And a little bit of bossin’ people around. Which, let’s be honest, is kinda fun, ain’t it? Now, where’s my grandson? I need him to explain this “waiver wire” thing to me again. Sounds like somethin’ you’d use to fix a fence, not pick football players. Kids these days…
